so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Please don't give away my fajitas
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
