So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
