OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
