Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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