Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
