our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
