he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
