So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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