just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
