I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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