I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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