Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
