She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
