Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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