yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
