We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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