dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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