I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
