Porn is love you can see.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
