he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
