there's paper in my vomit.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
