The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
