Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
