Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
