we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
