i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
