PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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