Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
