Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
