So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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