Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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