Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
