his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
