I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
