I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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