babies were throwing up all over the place
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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