No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
