nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
