Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
