I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
