I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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