There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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