I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
