I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
