Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
