Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
