my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
