I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
