One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
