Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
